The Fault In Our World

What the eff is wrong with the world. 

Okay so I have never ever in my entire life been this pissed. 

My best friend is being constantly cyber bullied and this is a message to all of you cowards who anonymously torture people you don't know and to all of you who are being cyber bullied. 

So first of all, what is your effin problem. 

Do you think bullying people is funny? Do you think you are above everyone else? You stuck up assholes think you can control the world by bullying the people that can actually make a difference to it? Did I mention that it is a federal crime to bully someone? Hell yes, you can be put behind bars for it. 

And you know what? To the guy who has been bullying all the people I know and love, I think you're a coward because when I tried to block you, you had already blocked me. Bravo, you're a chicken. 

When you bully someone, you destroy someone's faith in humanity, you destroy everyone's opinion about him/her, and most of all, you destroy their will to live. 

My friend is a bouncy and an ecstatic human being. She is one of the people you would love to hang out with or even be around. And the fact that you would attempt to destroy someone like that is just sickening. You are a sadistic excuse for a human being. Please, feed yourself to a goat. 

To the people being bullied, your life won't be ruined because of one or even two cowards harassing you. I know everyone says this to you, but I want to say it again, ignore or break their legs. Peace. You don't deserve this negativety in your life. I'm sure you are accepted by people and there are people who love you, don't let them go, ever. Cutting or taking your life is never the answer. Let me tell you, life is a boxing match. It's going to keep trying to knock you down. It's your decision whether you stay on the ground and die like a loser or get up, dust yourself, and ready yourself for round 2. 

You might say, how would I know? I'm not being bullied. I know how you feel. In the seventh grade, I had been bullied too. Not bullied as much as left alone. I lost all hope and I hated going to school. I didn't like waking up from sleep. Not only people in school, but also my cousins, bullied me. I never understood why. I thought it was because I was fat or something. I chose to work out and lose all my extra weight and to be honest, I stopped eating for a while. But it didn't help, they either ignored me and left me alone, feeling terrible, or they bullied me until I cried. By the end of it all, I liked being alone. This is the part of my life in which books were my best friends. I found the Harry Potter series and that is, honestly, what helped me through it all. I compared myself to Neville Longbottom and realised that he was being tortured so much more and he was so brave through it all. He never lost faith, he was worth 12 times of everyone who was bullying him. I took that as an example. I never cut myself, I never had suicidal tendencies. Yes, I still prefer sitting alone reading or writing, but the fact that I never gave up on myself, helped me survive. I want you to never give up and please keep fighting. 

May the odds be ever in your favor, 

Lots of love, 

Sasha. 

I don't wanna be another wave in the ocean.

So it's been one and a half month since I wrote something. 

So I recently passed my board examination of the 10th grade with an 83% (not proud of it). But now, everything has changed. School started around 18 days ago and it's so far so good I guess. ISC was not my first option but I think it's pretty cool. Although, for the first time in my entire life, I've entered the school alone. No one I knew from my childhood is a part of my class. For the first time in my entire life, I felt alone. But socializing isn't that difficult apparently. I've already made 7-8 great friends (rather proud of myself for that). 

Anyway, back to the topic, 

"I don't wanna be another wave in the ocean,

           I am a rock not just another grain of sand"  -Bon Jovi. 

I think the quote is pretty clear. Well, it's not exactly a quote, it's a lyric from Bon Jovi's song, "Because We Can".
The fact that I've come to a new school is telling me that I'm not special anymore. I'm not the diverse person I was in my former school. I'm like everyone else. The other day I entered my class and since I was confused, I asked a girl which class that was and she said that she didn't even know I was in her class. That kind of hurt my ego, thus, the failure of writing a fandom post instead. I'm not a council member anymore.
I can't express myself openly anymore. I'm not the terrible grammar nazi who will be upfront and correct every mistake you make while speaking or writing anymore. I can't sing loudly in my class without having people judge me anymore. I can't have random mood swings and jump around when I want anymore. I can't go crazy fangirl anymore. I'm just the girl that sits back in class and prefers to read her book. It's like I've lost my identity. I can't be who I am with people I don't know. I'm not two-faced or anything, it's just that I don't want to freak people out. Like, our friendship level isn't ready for me as who I really am.

You would probably just say, "Oh don't be afraid to be who you are". But I can't. I'm not afraid. I can't describe my emotion. I think it's somewhere around nervousness. Some people don't have any problem with this but I guess I do. I have a problem in expressing myself with strangers or acquaintances. Oh but I try, only to fail. So I guess I'm gonna go with "give it time".

Well I miss my old school and I would give anything to go back there. Sadly, there is no option of humanities there.

If you ever feel the way I do, remember that you're not the only one.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
-Lots of love,
Sasha.

(Gosh this is like a formal letter. I don't think I've been this serious since like 15 years).