I don't wanna be another wave in the ocean.

So it's been one and a half month since I wrote something. 

So I recently passed my board examination of the 10th grade with an 83% (not proud of it). But now, everything has changed. School started around 18 days ago and it's so far so good I guess. ISC was not my first option but I think it's pretty cool. Although, for the first time in my entire life, I've entered the school alone. No one I knew from my childhood is a part of my class. For the first time in my entire life, I felt alone. But socializing isn't that difficult apparently. I've already made 7-8 great friends (rather proud of myself for that). 

Anyway, back to the topic, 

"I don't wanna be another wave in the ocean,

           I am a rock not just another grain of sand"  -Bon Jovi. 

I think the quote is pretty clear. Well, it's not exactly a quote, it's a lyric from Bon Jovi's song, "Because We Can".
The fact that I've come to a new school is telling me that I'm not special anymore. I'm not the diverse person I was in my former school. I'm like everyone else. The other day I entered my class and since I was confused, I asked a girl which class that was and she said that she didn't even know I was in her class. That kind of hurt my ego, thus, the failure of writing a fandom post instead. I'm not a council member anymore.
I can't express myself openly anymore. I'm not the terrible grammar nazi who will be upfront and correct every mistake you make while speaking or writing anymore. I can't sing loudly in my class without having people judge me anymore. I can't have random mood swings and jump around when I want anymore. I can't go crazy fangirl anymore. I'm just the girl that sits back in class and prefers to read her book. It's like I've lost my identity. I can't be who I am with people I don't know. I'm not two-faced or anything, it's just that I don't want to freak people out. Like, our friendship level isn't ready for me as who I really am.

You would probably just say, "Oh don't be afraid to be who you are". But I can't. I'm not afraid. I can't describe my emotion. I think it's somewhere around nervousness. Some people don't have any problem with this but I guess I do. I have a problem in expressing myself with strangers or acquaintances. Oh but I try, only to fail. So I guess I'm gonna go with "give it time".

Well I miss my old school and I would give anything to go back there. Sadly, there is no option of humanities there.

If you ever feel the way I do, remember that you're not the only one.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
-Lots of love,
Sasha.

(Gosh this is like a formal letter. I don't think I've been this serious since like 15 years).